grrlblog

welcome back.

xgrrlx — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 02:45:13 +0000

Stress.

How can I? Then what? What if I…

So many questions and very little answers to the problems. I have never woken up and want to cry. Ever. But yesterday I had to fight back the tears. My mind was a chattering monkey of insane escapist thoughts.

I’m not insane, just feeling a little lost.

dubya.

xgrrlx — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 18:15:51 +0000

The W’s.

What?

I don’t know. I’m doing something with my life and I like it. Not everything is in place just yet but I’m getting there.

Where?

I don’t know. Here, I’m here. Right now this is where I am. I like it.

Who?

Someone, someone is here. Around, in my head. Comes and goes, in and out.

I want out.

all comes down

xgrrlx — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 05:46:09 +0000

I’m still around.

I kind of have a job now. Woo.

a billion bees

xgrrlx — Sat, 24 May 2008 02:29:29 +0000

Still no job. Not for the lack of trying though. I had an interview yesterday. It went well but I didn’t get the job. My mom thinks it’s because I have to tell them I’m going back to school in the fall. However, it’s summer job season. I can’t help that I want to educate myself as well as make some money.

I’m taking a walk back into modeling. I said I had stopped, but somehow I got dragged back in. I have a few shoots lined up and I’m looking forward to it. More paid shoots the better though. I have a few alternative ideas for money making and modeling combined. But I’m not ready to disclose those to the world (ahem, internets).

Anyway, I guess that’s it for now.

what am i doing.

xgrrlx — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:15:42 +0000

I don’t know what I’m doing. I did one day of training and then thought, no I won’t go back. No I won’t do days of paid training with nice people and friendly faces. No, that’s not a good idea. See, I don’t know why I thought that was the best choice to make. So now I don’t have a job, no money still. Great plan Steph. So now I’m trying to get a job somewhere else and hopefully that’ll go better. It’s closer to home and easier for me to get to on my own. That would make a difference too. Not mention the mall doesn’t open at 6am for service.

There’s a bunch of things on my mind but I just want them to go away. Hurry up and wait. I don’t know what else to say other than… I just don’t know right now.

idk my bff george brown?

xgrrlx — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 18:12:36 +0000

Guess who got into school… that’s right, me! I managed to pass the dreadful math test. I’m so stoked! I also got a job; I’m on a roll.

YAY!

Don’t cry over…

xgrrlx — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 04:56:45 +0000

It’s not a good sign when you’re faced with a math problem and your first response is to cry, is it?

Didn’t think so.

E-rith-mah-tic?

xgrrlx — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 11:26:59 +0000

I have a [math] learning disability.

I know this. I’ve always known this. When the option came to not do grade 12 math I took it. Now it’s biting me in the bum and I have one chance to make or break my future. I can feel the knots being tied in my shoulders my head is empty and I’m staring off into space. I’m stressing out and I’ve known this information since this evening. I have to take a test to get into my course for baking. Give me a recipe, give me the measuring equipment, I’ll bake you a cake but don’t ask me to sit down with a pencil and tell you what those measurements mean.

Imma…

xgrrlx — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 09:35:03 +0000

~~Bake some cookies.~~

~~brb.~~

Tomorrow.

Anyway, after a week in Toronto with my lovely loverface I’m back. I think he had a good birthday and thats all that matters anyway. I had a good time too of course. But now I’m back and tomorrow along with those cookies I plan to make I’m also going to write those damn resumes. I need that job… you know the one where they pay you for showing up and “working”, one of those.

Party time!

xgrrlx — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 11:23:53 +0000

Alright so after my last post I’ve applied to the program, insuring it won’t close before I had a chance. I still feel like a total knob for doing that. Crap! I meant to call my old high school to get a transcript today. Dammit. I guess I’ll call next week and hopefully my mom can pick it up or pay the $10 for me. Other than that stuff I don’t have too much to say on the school/job front. However my mom and I checked out the new bakery around the corner from our house and it turns out it’s a well known name in Scarborough. Hopefully I can get a job in there! Only thing is they don’t make their pastries and things on location. Either way it would look good on a resume… which I must do by March 1st, that’s my deadline.

Next week is the SO’s (significant other, duh) birthday! YAY! This weekend we’re going out to celebrate. I’m hoping he gets a good turn out from all of his friends, he deserves it. So that shall be fun! I baked cupcakes today for our little shindig, I just stole one. They’re good but not what I wanted. The frosting isn’t as good as I wanted it to be. No biggie though, it’s food for drunk people really. I can’t wait to be making fantastic baked-goods and everyone will want my stuff. Not like they don’t already *wink*. Haha what a joke. Alrighty that’s all for now I suppose.